Random Quote: "ON FABRIC SOFTENER: My wife uses fabric softener. I never knew what that stuff was for. Then I noticed women were coming up to me (sniff) 'Married!' (walk off). That's how they mark their territory! You can take off that ring, but it's hard to get that April fresh scent out of your clothes. Cripes! My wife's from the Midwest. Very nice people there. Very wholesome. They use words like 'Cripes!' 'For Cripe's sake! Who would that be, Jesus Cripes? The son of 'Gosh?' of the Church of 'Holy Moly'! I'm not making fun of it. You think I wanna burn in 'Heck'? "
- The Case For Impeaching Clarence Thomas
With new evidence that Clarence Thomas lied to get onto the Supreme Court, it's time to talk seriously about impeachment.
- The Playboy Who Got Away With $242M — Using 'Black Magic'
How Foutanga Babani Sissoko pulled off one of the most audacious confidence tricks of all time.
- Watch Japan's Aspark Owl Electric Car Go 0-60 In 1.92 Seconds
To be fair, the car had a set of racing tires on, so it's not exactly a production version. But still, holy crap.
- If You Switch Over To Clean Energy, This Company Will Give You A Google Home Mini
Arcadia Power lets you access clean energy for your home and is giving away a Google Home Mini for anyone who signs up. There’s no installation and it only takes two minutes to sign up.
- Driver Uses Some Sort Of Dark Magic To Get Out Of A Parking Spot
But seriously, we're confused. How is the car doing this?
- On Behalf Of The Rest Of The World, John Oliver Eviscerates Donald Trump
"Last Week Tonight" has been off for the last few weeks, but John Oliver still has a lot to say about the whole "shithole countries" thing. And if one Brit's vitriol is any indication, so does the rest of the world.
- Just Shitting On The New 'Fifty Shades' Movie For 25 Minutes
The "Fifty Shades" movies have become the "Paranormal Activity" of romance movies. Which means they come out every year and are really, really fun in a really, really dumb way,
- Lost Photos Of Brazil's Wild Carnivals
These rare images of Fortaleza during the '50s and '60s were almost lost forever.
- How Can I Get My Husband To Admit He's Addicted To 'Pokemon Go,' And Other Advice Column Questions
A roundup of the most interesting, thought-provoking and surprising questions that our favorite columnists addressed in recent days.
- So Much Is Wrong With This Surfer Riding Waves In This Muddy River
One, it's super dangerous to ride such treacherous waves. And two, dude, have you seen how muddy the water is?